For the life of me, I don't really remember 2016. It was a blur and if I recall clearly, I was in a middle of a transition. I was lost and had no proper direction in life. I wanted to do something with my life but I had no clue. In early 30s and I had no clue what to with my life.
So how did I go from that to where I am now?
I became calmer.
I used to be such a hot-head last time. If I can start a quarrel, I will. And I always want to be right. I am insufferable. I am sure I was.
I cringe when I think about those moments. It could be the age or my declining energy, but I quarrel so much lesser now.I think I rarely get angry. Maybe once or twice every few months. And my anger is so much more manageable.
It could also be that being such a hot-head don't solve anything. It does get the points that I need to across. However, everybody just get hurt in the process and the recovery from a bad outburst takes a longer time. A calm and cool approach is so much better. I solve everything much faster and feelings for everyone involved are so much more protected.
I became in tune with my wants and needs.
Like I said before, I was at a point in my life where I had no clue what I wanted. I did some soul-searching. I had a long and hard discussions with the people I trust. The discussions I had made me think that I shouldn't be living my life with people's expectations. I do have my own set of expectations. But somewhere along the lines, I was conforming to others' and I wasn't happy.
I did some stuffs and experiments in my life. Figuring out what I like and dislike took a long time. Yet going through all that, I am here and I can safely say that I am happy with the results. Almost to the point of zen.
If 2016 me were to meet 2021 me, she wouldn't recognise the person that is here. But I will know she will be proud that I pulled through from a difficult period in my life.
Change is inevitable. It is how and what we change into is important. Always working to better ourselves and make the best changes in our life. Did you change in the last five years? Let us know below.
About the writer
Indah Ahmad don't like spiders. Too scary. Lizards fine, cockroach fine. Spider, no.
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